Let’s talk about sex (and) babies – 5 tips for great postnatal sex

Clio Wood has shared her five top tips for postnatal sex for those struggling to reignite the spark post-birth.

83% of women will experience pain when having sex during the first three months after having a baby, with this lasting up to six months for a further 64%.

However, just 15% of these women seek medical help on the matter with the information available for those that do, far from comprehensive.

This shrouded attitude towards postnatal sex was the motivation for Clio Wood, writer, postnatal wellbeing activist and &Breathe founder, to get women to open up about the issue.

Here are her top five tips for postnatal sex.

Top 5 Tips for Postnatal Sex

1. Wait ’til you’re ready – Let’s not beat around the bush, you’ve just hefted a baby out or your vagina, or had it cut out of your tummy and that’s without going into any complications. You’re a rock star. But it’s no wonder that you might not be in the mood for sexy time quite yet. Everyone is different when it comes to sex and this doesn’t change just because you’ve had a baby: if you are up to it, that’s great; if not, give yourself time to recover, as you would from any (big!) injury or ailment.
2. Take it steady – Babies take up a lot of time, so sex is pretty hard to fit in these days, especially when coupled with the severe lack of sleep. Plus you might need a minute (or 60) to get into the mood so dedicate some time to it. Going from baby to booty call isn’t an easy transition, so foreplay is more important than ever for you to feel aroused. As Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist says: “Foreplay starts the minute sex ends.”
3. Lube up! – Breastfeeding and postnatal hormones mean lubrication levels are low after birth (and sometimes beyond). Don’t be ashamed of using lubrication, it’s there for your pleasure and can increase passion levels significantly. There are even superb organic brands out there now – because what else should you put in your vagina?
4. Ask for help – your birth story and transition to motherhood may leave you with birth trauma or (as for one in five new mothers) postpartum mood disorders such as depression or anxiety. Unsurprisingly this may affect your libido! There is help out there, so ask for a referral (or pay privately) to see a counsellor or therapist. It will make a world of difference.
5. You’re not alone – Above all, if you’re not feeling the vibe, know that you’re not alone. Even if it feels like everyone else is back at it like rabbits, the chances are that most couples are going through similar things, so take their bravado with a bucketful of salt.

Charlie Rosier, mother and co-founder of Cuckooz Nest, commented:

“For us, Nest isn’t just about providing somewhere to work, it’s about addressing the wider issues that come with having a baby such as the financial restrictions, the lack of social interaction and the loneliness that comes with it.

As women it’s vital we realise we aren’t doing this alone and that whether it’s finding suitable childcare or having sex, opening up and talking about it can do the world of good.

Clio Wood, founder of &Breathe, commented:

“As is often the case with the non-sexy, sex-related subjects, there is a huge embarrassment surrounding this most private, but all too common of topics. Not to mention the string of complicating factors that can arise from it.

We’re proud to be leading this discussion and with the help of parent-focussed co-working spaces like Cuckooz Nest, the conversation is starting to open up.

About Cuckooz Nest

• In 2018, the Cuckooz co-founders Charlie Rosier and Fabienne O’Neill launched Cuckooz Nest; London’s first fully flexible co-working space, with an Ofsted registered creche for children under two.
• Cuckooz Nest is currently crowdfunding to support the launch of their second site which will allow more parents in the capital to benefit from flexible workspace/creche facilities.
• Nest’s sister company Cuckooz provide serviced apartments curated by independent designers to offer an authentic home away from home experience for those travelling for both business and leisure.
• Cuckooz was founded in 2016 by Charlie Rosier and Fabienne O’Neill.
• Prior to Cuckooz, Charlie Rosier held senior positions at property investment firms IP Global ltd and Blackfish ltd in Hong Kong.
• Fabienne O’Neill has almost a decade’s experience managing large-scale property, design and technology events.

About &Breathe

• &Breathe was created in 2015 after Founder, Clio Wood, had a baby in the summer of 2014;
• Realising how little support there is for parental physical and mental wellbeing and the transition to parenthood, Clio created &Breathe retreats;
• &Breathe is the first postnatal fitness retreat of its kind, focusing on the whole family, dads, partners & little ones included;
• &Breathe has been featured in The Telegraph, The Times, The Guardian, Harpers Bazaar and Red Magazine amongst others.
• &Breathe holds retreats & events, and creates content to provide quality mental & physical fitness information/teaching for parents, focusing on FIT, FOOD, and FEEL for all-round health.

For more information on &Breathe please see andbreathepostnatal.com